


Recurring Dream

by gheaindiani



Series: monsta x fanfic bingo [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I love yall, I'm Sorry, M/M, Monsta X Bingo, Please Don't Hate Me, Soul Mate AU, Why do I do this, because no one gets hurt, i love writing fluff, lmao again, showho, this is different i promise, this is going to be a few chapters long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7704103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gheaindiani/pseuds/gheaindiani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing in this world can ever be more right than this --</p>
<p>Well, until Hoseok wakes up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ....And He Wakes Up

**Author's Note:**

> the summary doesn't do this story justice tbh.
> 
> so this is my second entry for the monsta x fanfic bingo! i got.......soul mate AU again.......lmao  
> i originally wanted to use my previous story (Tied Around My Finger if yall don't know haha) for the entry but i figured why not contribute more stories to this lovely fandom? and voila! and i think this will have a few chapters too but probably won't be as long though.
> 
> it's different from my other story i promise!!!
> 
> i hope you guys will enjoy this one! comments and kudos are very much appreciated!!

            Hoseok is and has always been a city boy; he loves the hustle and bustle of the streets, the crowded sidewalks, the almost always lousy public transportations, the sound of honking vehicles, the rude passerby, the disgusting smell of the alleyways, and the vandalized public properties – Hoseok is a city boy and he’s proud of being one.

            There is one thing that Hoseok loves the most about the city, though; he loves how serene and peaceful the city becomes when night falls. That is something that Hoseok learned to appreciate just recently in his life. Up until then, he had only enjoyed the city in all its (sometimes disgusting) glory. The peace and quiet is a luxury that only a handful of people get to indulge; and Hoseok is one of those lucky ones.

            Whatever ugliness that is visible during the day is covered by a blanket of darkness, swiftly hiding it from sight; the sound dies down along with the setting sun that sometimes it gets _too_ quiet Hoseok can hear his heartbeat; the tempo slows down and the whole city gradually comes to a standstill, leaving whatever work as is until the sun rises the next morning.

            But what captures Hoseok’s heart is how the city skyline’s lights up in the horizon.

            When he was younger, he rarely got the chance to see the city skyline at night. His parents set up a strict curfew; he couldn’t stay up pass 9 pm. The curtains of his bedroom were drawn and he was forced to sleep before he could enjoy and take in the view. It’s truly a waste; a view like that is meant to be cherished. And now that he’s no longer a curfew-bound child, he is able to fall in love with it like he should.

            Hoseok is standing on the balcony of his apartment building looking over the city. It’s a little over 10 pm and the pulse of the city is starting to slow down; businesses are closing up as they near the end of their business hour. He watches as the lights twinkle in the distance, winking teasingly at him, inviting. Hoseok sighs at the sight and he can’t help but to feel warm from it. Nothing in this world can ever be more right than this.

            “I was wondering when you’re going to get to bed,” a familiar voice calls him as strong, firm arms wrap themselves around Hoseok’s slim waist.

            “It’s still too early for that, jagi-ya,” Hoseok giggles when he feels the warm breath of the other against the skin on his neck.

            The other male sighs, “Aren’t you tired?”

            Hoseok hums, “Not really…”

            The other male grins mischievously then swoops Hoseok off the ground, carrying him bridal style. “I really need some company,” he tells Hoseok then he plants a kiss on Hoseok’s lips.

            “I’m all yours,” teases Hoseok. He looks at the other’s dark eyes. The only thing that he loves more than the city skyline outside are his lover’s dark eyes; deep, wanting, and inviting. Truly, nothing in this world can ever be more right than this; two of his favorite things just within Hoseok’s reach. He leans in and kisses the other’s lips passionately, and –

            Hoseok wakes up.

            “Fuck! Not again!”


	2. Oh, Be Still My Gay Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i'm back again lol  
> i've been MIA for far too long, forgive me... it's just that i'm busy with my final year thesis that i sort of neglected writing  
> anyway, i hope this update can make up for the lost times~  
> i hope you'll enjoy this one and wish me luck on my thesis! i also hope i can sneak in once in a while~~  
> as usual, comments and kudos are much appreciated!!

            Hoseok drags himself out of his bedroom to the kitchen where his roommate, Hyungwon, is sitting at the kitchen island eating his breakfast already dressed up and ready to start the day. Hoseok mumbles a ‘good morning’ at him before pouring some freshly brewed coffee into his favorite maroon mug.

            “You up early today, hyung,” says Hyungwon as he munches on his toast.

            “I could ask you the same,” Hoseok replies a snort. He picks up his coffee mug and takes a sip of the warm, slightly bitter liquid then sighs, “I had _that_ dream again.”

            “Again?” repeats Hyungwon knowing exactly what Hoseok means, “That’s why you woke up?”

            Hoseok nods, taking another sip of his coffee. He walks over to sit next to Hyungwon. He rests his head on Hyungwon’s shoulder and groans, “I can never sleep peacefully again like this.”  

            Hyungwon chuckles, “Well to be fair, you never really sleep ‘peacefully’ to begin with. You kicked Changkyun off the bed while sleeping during the trip to Busan. Poor boy…”

            “I warned him, and he insisted!” Hoseok retorts. “You’re all snazzed up. Going somewhere?” asks Hoseok cooing at the younger male as he checks him up and down.

            “I’ve got a photo shoot at 11. And I should probably go now,” says Hyungwon as he eats the last of his toast. He takes his plate and puts it in the sink. “I’ll probably be late, so don’t wait up. See ya, hyung!” Hyungwon closes the door behind him and leaves.

            “He’ll probably going to be with Minhyuk again,” Hoseok chuckles to himself as he takes another sip of his coffee.

            He stands up and walks towards the window in his living room, taking his mug with him. He looks outside as he watches the sun steadily sets itself up in the sky, climbing up from behind the silhouette of the skyscrapers in the distant. He looks down at the street below him that is slowly starting to come back to life; he also spots Hyungwon walking on the pavement to wherever he needs to go. It’s a shame that his current apartment doesn’t have a balcony because he wants to shout Hyungwon’s name just to mess with the younger boy. He smiles cheekily as he follows Hyungwon until he disappears among the concrete structures beneath him.

            Hoseok sighs deeply as he remembers his dream from last night. It has been going on quite frequently; almost every night for the past one month. He doesn’t know why he keeps on getting the _exact_ same dream whenever he sleeps, but it somehow feels…familiar to him; like something that has been stuck in the back of his mind. Maybe he feels that way because it’s a recurring event and is used to it by now or…maybe because of something else entirely. Who knows, really? It’s just really frustrating that he has to watch the same scenario over and over again almost every night without knowing the ending; almost as bad as a cliffhanger in an open-ended movie.

            Hoseok looks at the time on his phone; it’s 9:30 and it’s almost time for his shift at the book shop, and he needs to get ready for work. He stares back out of the window distantly and grunts, contemplating whether he _really_ needs this job. “Yeah you do need this job, you struggling musician,” he mumbles to himself.

***

            “Are you going to Jooheon’s party this weekend, hyung?” Changkyun asks Hoseok who is sorting out some books up on the shelves.

            “Party? What party?” Hoseok asks him back, looking confused.

            “Jooheon invited us to his housewarming party last week,” answers Changkyun, “Remember?”

            “Oh, yeah…right. He did,” Hoseok echoes Changkyun’s reply. He sighs, “I don’t know if I can make it. Kihyun and I have a gig scheduled on that date.”

            The younger pouts, “Oh, man…just when I thought we could hang out again together as a group…”

            Hoseok chuckles and pats Changkyun’s head, “I’m sorry...We have to do this gig to pay the rent. Being musicians are not exactly easy, you know?”

            Changkyun simply nods at his hyung’s words. “Promise me we’ll hang out again the next time you’re free!” says Changkyun as he puffs up his cheeks.

            “We promise,” Hoseok replies in a giggle, “Now, why don’t you help me out with these books instead of acting like a huge baby?” Changkyun rolls his eyes but helps out anyway.

            Not long after that, they hear the front door swings open and the doorbell chimes, and then followed by a low, “Excuse me? Is there anyone here?”

            “I’ll go. You continue on sorting out the books,” Hoseok offers to go to the front and help out the patron. Hoseok walks out to the front of the shop and greets the person.

            “Good morning! How may I help you?” greets Hoseok warmly.

            The tall man then turns around to face Hoseok with a confused expression and gives out a small smile when he sees Hoseok; his eyes form a pair of crescents, “Ah, yes. I was wondering if you are opened.” Hoseok feels his heart thump when he sees the man smiles at him. _Oh my, he’s cute…_

            “A-ah, yes we are. How can I help you with?” Hoseok asks, trying not to be too fixated on the person’s smile. _Focus, Hoseok! Focus!_

            “I’m looking for this particular book…” the other man takes out a piece of paper from inside his jeans’ pocket and gives it to him, “I’ve been looking all over the city for it, but I couldn’t find it. So, this place is my last shot.”

            Hoseok takes the piece of paper from the stranger’s hand. Their fingers brush against each other and Hoseok heart jumps in his ribcage from the contact. _Be still, my gay heart. This is not the time!_ He snaps himself back to reality and reads what is written on the paper. “I-“ his voice cracks from the sudden wave of nervousness; he clears his throat, “I think we have this book. Follow me.”

            As he leads the man to the back of the shop to where the book is, Hoseok feels his whole body is getting hotter and his palms are starting to sweat. Knowing that a _really_ good looking man is walking merely inches behind him makes Hoseok’s heart race but he doesn’t know why, though; there have been plenty of good looking men coming to the store but none of them has ever made him feel like this before. _Why?_

            Hoseok stops in front of the shelf where the book supposed to be and scans it. He lets out an ‘ah!’ when he finds it and pulls it out; he swears he can hear the man giggling at him. Hoseok hands over the book over to the man and he accepts it with such a glow in his face. Hoseok blushes at the sight.

            “Thank you so much! You didn’t know how hard it was to find this book,” he thanks Hoseok with a child-like glee, “You’re a life savior.”

            Hoseok turns away to hide the red in his face and mumbles, “You’re welcome.”

            There’s an awkward silence between them, and Hoseok can feel the stranger’s eyes glued on him. Hoseok tries so hard not to squirm in his place.

            “I’m taking this book,” the stranger finally speaks out breaking the silence, “Do you want my money?”

            “Oh! Right…” Hoseok rapidly blinks his eyes as the stranger watches him amusedly, “I’ll take you to the cashier.”

            Hoseok scans the barcode of the book, “It’s 20,000 won.” The man then takes out his wallet and gives Hoseok the money, and Hoseok gives him the book in return. Their fingers brush against each other again, but this time the man stares right into Hoseok’s eye; Hoseok’s heart beats rapidly as he locks eyes with that intense gaze.

            “I feel like I’ve met you before,” the man says in a low voice, almost in a whisper.

            “What?”

            “Ah, nothing,” the man quickly grabs his book and bows, “Thank you for your help.” And with that, he exits the shop.

            Hoseok watches as the man leaves from the store window. His heart is still racing from their earlier interaction. _He’s met me before…?_ , Hoseok asks himself. He is so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t realize Kihyun standing in front of him.

            “Are you sick, hyung?” Kihyun asks worriedly.

            Hoseok looks up to see Kihyun looking at him with an expression, “I didn’t notice you coming in.”

            “Really? I made quite a commotion coming in. I brought the marching band along,” Kihyun remarks at him sarcastically.

            Hoseok lets out a mocking laugh at Kihyun’s sarcasm. “Let’s go and help Changkyun out with the stocks. That poor boy somehow always ends up under a pile of books,” suggests Hoseok.

            And right after Hoseok ended his sentence, a loud crash is heard from the back of the shop, followed by a muffled groan. “I’m buying him a helmet next time,” Kihyun sighs.


	3. Hoseok Can't Ramyeon Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE!! IT'S BEEN A WHILE!  
> i've returned from the hole that is final year thesis because I'M DONE WITH IT YAAAASSS!!! *throws confetti*  
> and to celebrate that, i've decided to update this story with another chapter. this chapter doesn't fulfill a purpose or anything, i just felt bad that i'd gone for too long and didn't write anything. i do hope that you guys will still like this though. but do not fret because i'm working on the proper story line (coughandworkingonanotherstorycough) and will update it soon! so please look forward to it!
> 
> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!!

The other male sighs, “Aren’t you tired?"

            Hoseok hums, “Not really…”

            The other male grins mischievously then swoops Hoseok off the ground, carrying him bridal style. “I really need some company,” he tells Hoseok then he plants a kiss on Hoseok’s lips.

            “I’m all yours,” teases Hoseok. He looks at the other’s dark eyes. The only thing that he loves more than the city skyline outside are his lover’s dark eyes; a pair of eyes as dark as the night sky outside; deep, wanting, and inviting, yet warm and loving – it’s so difficult for Hoseok to refuse those crescent eyes.

            Truly, nothing in this world can ever be more right than this; two of his favorite things just within Hoseok’s reach. He leans in and kisses the other’s lips passionately; his lover’s plump lips are very much intoxicating, and Hoseok just falls deeper and deeper into his embrace, and –

            “God fucking damn it! Yes, I am _tired_ of this all!” Hoseok is wide awake now that the dream has ended. He grunts in frustration as he covers his face with a pillow. When will this torture end?

            Hoseok sits up and takes his phone to look at the time; barely 11 pm. He must have fallen asleep while writing song lyrics on the couch as his notepad and pencil are scattered on the floor. His apartment is still quiet, so that means Hyungwon is not back yet.

            His stomach starts grumbling; he almost forgets that he hasn’t had dinner yet. Hoseok walks to the pantry to see what it’s got; a few packets of _kimchi ramyeon_ and left over _mandu_ from yesterday. Hoseok sighs deeply and internally weeps at how sad this really is, “I’ll just have to make it until payday…”

            He is about to start preparing for dinner when his phone rings. He quickly picks it up, “Hello?”

            “Hey, it’s me,” Kihyun is at the other end of the line, “Have you had dinner yet?”

            “No. Why? You want to treat me something?” Hoseok asks hopefully.

            “Tsk, no. I was asking out of courtesy,” Kihyun snorts.

            “You asshole,” Hoseok retorts, “Why are you calling me?”

            “Just wanted to let you know our gig this weekend is postponed,” Kihyun replies, “Not sure to when, but the dude said it’s gonna be somewhere next month.”

            Hoseok groans at the news. Seems like he’ll be living on a budget again this month. “I was looking forward to this one. I thought I could finally live a decent life,” he sighs.

            “Yeah, I know…” responds Kihyun, “Well, the good thing about this is we’ll be able to go to Jooheon’s housewarming party. There will be free booze and snacks, at least.”

            Hoseok chuckles, “That’s right.”

            “I’ll see you at work then, hyung. Good night!” Kihyun hangs up.

            Hoseok stares loathingly at the packet of _ramyeon_ – he never thought he will actually start to hate his favorite food. How much longer will he need to live like this? Just when he is about to begrudgingly open the packet, the front door opens.

            “Hoseok-hyung, I’m home,” comes the greeting from none other than Hyungwon. Hyungwon walks inside and sees Hoseok pitiably standing in the kitchen holding a packet of _ramyeon_.

            “Uh…I bought food for you…” Hyungwon says as he places a plastic bag on the kitchen island.

            Hoseok eyes sparkle at the sight. He lunges at Hyungwon to give him a bear hug, “I love you so much! I owe you big time, Hyungwon-ah! I probably love you more than Minhyuk does!”

            Hyungwon is definitely a god-sent; not only that he’s extremely good looking, but he is also extremely kind. Just like one of those male anime protagonists who always comes to the rescue whenever the main female lead is in trouble. Hoseok is kind of jealous of Minhyuk to have Hyungwon as a boyfriend. This boy is probably an angel in disguise.

            “Oh man…I’m so glad Minhyuk is not around to hear that.”


	4. Nutmeg and Ginger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the longest i've ever written in a chapter lol  
> love-struck hyungwon is my fuel and poor, innocent Changkyun needs to be protected from all the evils in this world  
> it's 4 am and i should be sleeping because i'm having a runny nose and a sore throat but instead i'm writing this long ass chapter without a care in this world lol
> 
> but anyway!! i personally love this one, idk. tell me what you think!!
> 
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated!

            The other male sighs, “Aren’t you tired?”

            Hoseok hums, “Not really…”

            The other male grins mischievously then swoops Hoseok off the ground, carrying him bridal style. “I really need some company,” he tells Hoseok then he plants a kiss on Hoseok’s lips.

            “I’m all yours,” teases Hoseok. He looks at the other’s dark eyes. The only thing that he loves more than the city skyline outside are his lover’s dark eyes; a pair of eyes as dark as the night sky outside; deep, wanting, and inviting, yet warm and loving – it’s so difficult for Hoseok to refuse those crescent eyes.

Truly, nothing in this world can ever be more right than this; two of his favorite things just within Hoseok’s reach. He leans in and kisses the other’s lips passionately; his lover’s plump lips are very much intoxicating, and Hoseok just falls deeper and deeper into his embrace, and he can feel his lover’s muscular arms pulling him closer.

_Nutmeg and ginger_ , the love of his life smells of nutmeg and ginger – aptly so because he always manages to warm even Hoseok’s coldest day. Hoseok can breathe this scent forever; he smells like comfort and warmth – he smells like home.

            “Hoseok,” the dark haired male calls his name softly as he pulls away slightly.

            “Hm?” Hoseok hums in return as he brushes a few strands of hair off the other male’s forehead.

            “Hoseok, I love you…” he finally tells Hoseok, “so, so much.”

            Hoseok’s heart thumps against his chest when he hears those words. Hoseok has known for so long that he is indeed loved by this amazing person, but there’s something about this moment that makes it…different. It’s probably the position they are now; it’s probably the time that is displayed on the digital clock. Hoseok studies the man’s face and he finds his answers – it’s definitely the look in his eyes that makes this moment different than the others.

            Hoseok cups his lover’s face in his palms and pulls him closer, “I love you too –“

            Hoseok then slowly opens his eyes; his heart is slightly aching from the dream that he’s just had. It’s nothing bad, he can assure that. His heart is aching because that dream was almost _too_ real to be only a dream – his heart is aching because that whole scenario could’ve been a real one, but instead it’s not.

            And this is a first for him.

            Usually, he’d wake up annoyed because of the repetition of the dream; how he couldn’t remember much of the details of it, how it just didn’t continue on, and how the face of his supposed “lover” was so blurred that he couldn’t make out who the person was. But now…he’s almost certain that he remembers, not only the entire dream itself, but the face of the man – he remembers almost everything, except for the man’s name, much to his dismay. The male’s complexions are familiar to him, but he can’t exactly single one out of the people that he knows.

            _Nutmeg and ginger_ – it still lingers even after Hoseok woke up.

            Hoseok slowly sits up on his bed and stares blankly into the wall across his bed. Everything is just too much for him to take in one go. All these details make him nothing but confused; he is feeling slightly lightheaded.

            His bedroom door slowly cracks open and Hyungwon’s slim figure slides in between them. “Oh, you’re awake, hyung,” says Hyungwon a little surprised, “Thought I’d have to blow into your ear again to wake you up.”

            Hoseok giggles at him. “What’s up?”

            “It’s almost time to go to Jooheon’s,” replies Hyungwon. He’s all dressed up and ready to go – he looks like he’s about to go for a look book photo shoot for a Zara Men collection, as expected from the model boy.

            “Ugh, you’re going to make everyone feels underdressed with that getup,” Hoseok sniggers at the younger male.

            “Well, you will be if you don’t get ready now. I’m going to leave in ten minutes,” Hyungwon retorts before he waltzes out of the room.

            Hoseok gets out of his bed and walks to his closet to look for clothes to wear. “Damn, how do I even beat Hyungwon at his own game…?” he mutters to himself as he scratches the back of his head looking at oversized sweaters scattered everywhere.

***

            “Hyung!” Hyungwon calls out Hoseok’s name, startling the older male.

            “What?” Hoseok asks still in a dazed.

            “We’re here,” informs Hyungwon.

            Without Hoseok realizing it, they’re already standing in front of Jooheon’s new apartment building. Hoseok is still so preoccupied with his earlier dream that he didn’t even notice that they’ve reached their destination.

            “I’ve already called Minhyuk to get us,” adds Hyungwon. He mindlessly straightens his already neat outfit and brushes his hair back with his fingers, a slight blush is present on his face.

            “Don’t worry, Hyungwon. You look good,” Hoseok assures the younger, “You’re a model, you look good without even trying.”

            Hyungwon playfully slaps the other on the arm. “I can’t help it. I still need to make sure I look good.”

            Hoseok can only roll his eyes at Hyungwon’s response and mutters, “Love-struck pretty boy.”

            Not long after that, they see Minhyuk’s slim figure coming out of one of the elevators from behind the glass doors. Hyungwon perks up at the sight; he smiles widely and his face glows as he watches his boyfriend walking towards them. Hoseok notices this and only shakes his head. Hoseok knows how much Hyungwon _loves_ Minhyuk; he’s known it even before they got together. He remembers Hyungwon coming home from his modeling work and started gushing about how – in Hyungwon’s own words – amazingly perfect the florist right across the studio was. And from then on, Hyungwon just never stopped talking about him, and how he only seemed to have good things to say about Minhyuk. He is completely head over heels for Minhyuk.

            Hyunwon’s eyes sparkle as Minhyuk walks closer to their direction. Hoseok smiles looking at him so happy – probably the happiest Hoseok seen him in forever. Is this how being in love look like?

            “Hey, you guys!” Minhyuk cheerfully greets the both of them. “And hello, handsome boyfriend,” he then turns to cheekily greets Hyungwon before giving the taller male a peck on the lips.

            “Hello, my sunshine,” replies Hyungwon with a shy smile. For about two minutes, the couple just stands there staring lovingly at each other before Hoseok awkwardly clears his throat.

            “I think we should go up,” he suggests the two love birds.

            “Ah, yes. Let’s go.” Minhyuk leads them into the building – while holding Hyungwon’s hand, of course – and up the elevator to Jooheon’s floor. They reach the front door and Minhyuk punches in the security code, then after a short ‘beep’ sound, they enter the apartment. Hoseok knows that Kihyun and Changkyun are already inside since their shoes are already scattered in the entrance area (he makes a mental note to scold them for failing to neatly arrange their shoes).

            “Ah, hyung! You made it!” cheers Changkyun who is (Hoseok assumes being forced to since he’s the youngest in the group) washing – what seems to be – cooking utensils. Ah, Kihyun must have volunteered to cook again. Sometimes Hoseok wonders why Kihyun didn’t opt on going to culinary school instead of becoming underpaid musician/book shop clerk since he’s so talented in cooking.

            “So this is what you meant by free booze and ‘snacks’ – you ended up cooking for everyone?” Hoseok inquires as he approaches Kihyun who is arranging the foods on the table.

            “Well, they’re still technically free since I didn’t pay for the ingredients at all,” answers Kihyun, “Jooheon and Hyunwoo did.”

            “Hyunwoo…?” repeats Hoseok. He has never heard of that name before.

            “Jooheon’s friend from the dance studio,” replies Kihyun.

            Hoseok mouths an ‘ooh’ as a response. “Speaking of booze, I don’t see any around.”

            “Jooheon and Hyunwoo went out to buy some. We didn’t get any earlier while shopping for food because Jooheon didn’t bring enough money. And since he’d promised he’d pay for everything, I refused to lend him my money,” says Kihyun; there’s a hint of cruelty in his voice.

            “Remind me to never promise you _anything_ ,” Hoseok retorts, slowly walking away before Kihyun has the chance to throw stuff at him.

            Hoseok sits down on the sofa, next to Minhyuk and Hyungwon who are already cuddled up together cozily. He mentally cusses at them for being too lovey-dovey with each other (it’s just because he’s bitter, really).

            “So hyung, how’s life going?” Minhyuk asks as he plays with Hyungwon’s hair.

            “Bearable.” Hoseok shrugs, “I live to see another day.”

            “Gigging wise?” asks Minhyuk again.

            Hoseok sighs at the question, “Me and Kihyun are able to come here because our gig today was postponed, other than that we haven’t really got any other offers yet. So…”

            Minhyuk quietly nods at Hoseok’s answer and smiles at the older sympathetically, “There will be more offers in the future, hyung. Don’t worry about it.”

            “I sure hope so, Hyukkie.” He exhales. Trying not to make the situation anymore awkward, Hoseok decides to look around Jooheon’s new place. He tours the entire place on his own and whistling in amusement.

            “This place is even better than the last one, man,” Hoseok muses to himself that gains the agreement of the other four boys.

            “His dance studio is doing really well,” Kihyun adds, “It’s gaining a lot of students and performance offers. I’m sort of jealous.”

            “Good things are coming your way, Kihyun-hyung!” Changkyun chimes in while he washes the dishes, still, “I have a feeling you’re going to get it big soon, too.”

            Kihyun and Hoseok only chuckle at Changkyun’s somehow naïve statement. It’s true that nothing is impossible in this world, but for struggling musicians like Kihyun and Hoseok, the future…seems bleak at the moment.

            Hoseok then notices a sliding glass door that leads to the balcony while looking around the place and he gets excited seeing it. He slides it open and the view from there is amazing; it has the perfect view of the city’s tallest buildings. Hoseok is mesmerized by the sight, and he envies Jooheon for this. Hoseok and Hyungwon’s apartment has a pretty view too, but not as beautiful as this. Hoseok can spend the entire night looking out the balcony, completely forgetting the promise of free booze and snacks that he was offered to come here.

            He takes in the sight that is presented in front of him; the lights from the windows of the concrete structures in the distance outline the shapes of the buildings and the dark, starry night in the background, the red beacons on top of them blinking in constant pace almost in synch to each other. Hoseok matches his breathing with the pace and he feels himself relax, giving Hoseok the chance to be alone with his thoughts for a while. It’s nice this way; he hasn’t been able to do this in a while.

            The loneliness he has unconsciously stored in the back of his mind comes creeping back to him; it’s an old friend – he doesn’t really mind it, really. It actually feels almost nostalgic. The loneliness unravels the memories that Hoseok has kept locked in inside the deep of his heart; the times when he’s happy and everything seemed alright – not good, but alright. Sure, his five friends keep him company most of the times but…there’s something amiss about them. They’re his best friends, but maybe – just maybe – that kind of affection and love are not quite what Hoseok is looking for; they’re enough to keep him going, nonetheless.

            Maybe, that’s what Hoseok’s recurring dream trying to show him; his innermost desire, to love much and be loved as much in return. What Hoseok really needs is a person to share his life with – a significant other, perhaps? Hoseok scoffs at that thought, _right_. What is he? A fifteen-year-old kid?

            He hears the front door opens and the sound of footsteps followed right after; Jooheon and his friend have returned from buying beers. He also hears the other four males cheer in joy as Jooheon and his friend brought along the promised free alcohol. Hoseok is still too comfortable at where he is now to greet the two other males.

            “Hey, you made it, Hyungwon!” greets Jooheon, “Welcome!”

            Hoseok hears chatters in the background but he still can’t be bothered joining on the conversation; he’s really enjoying the moment he is in now and he loves hearing the faint sound of passing train in the distance. He’ll greet Jooheon and this Hyunwoo person when he feels like it.

            _Nutmeg and ginger_ – the all too familiar scent fills the air around him. For a moment he thinks he’s dreaming; has his whole life been only a dream all this while? He quickly turns around to see the source of it and he is met with a pair of dark orbs looking at him. He focuses on the owner of the eyes, and he’s really sure he’s met this man before.

            “You’re…the customer from the shop…” says Hoseok, trailing off the words out of his mouth.

            “Oh, you remember?” asks the taller male, raising one of his eyebrows. Of course he does, he wouldn’t be able to forget that kind of handsome face.

            Hoseok slowly nods and can’t believe this is real-life; the extremely attractive customer from last week happens to be Jooheon’s friend, and coincidentally (or not, who knows) he smells of nutmeg and ginger – just like his supposed lover in his dream. This is too freaky even for his own comfort.

            “So, you’ve met Hyunwoo I see,” says Jooheon excitedly to Hoseok, suddenly appearing from behind Hyunwoo. He turns to Hyunwoo, “And Hyunwoo-hyung, this is Hoseok. He’s a musician.”

            Hyunwoo’s face lights up when he hears that, “You are? That is so cool! I wouldn’t have known.”

            Maybe it’s Hyunwoo’s extremely handsome face or the fact that the coincidences are too freaky to be true, Hoseok finds it really difficult to form any coherent sentence. “I-I am! Yes…I am,” he finally says after stumbling with his words.

            For a few moments, the both of them just keep on staring at each other in silence; Hyunwoo staring longingly at Hoseok with a warm smile plastered on his face, and Hoseok slowly melting away at the other male’s mercy. Hyunwoo gets a few steps closer to Hoseok, “Nice to meet you again, Hoseok.”

            Hoseok catches a whiff of Hyunwoo’s scent and he is now 100% sure that Hyunwoo smells exactly like the person in his dreams. “Is that nutmeg and ginger…?” Hoseok asks carefully.

            “Yes! Jo Malone! I bought the perfume online. Why? You like it?”

            Hoseok feels a tug at his chest as if his instinct is trying to tell him something. “Yes…it smells nice.”

            Hyunwoo blushes a little; his tanned skin turns a subtle shade of red. “Well, thank you. I’m glad you do.”

            “Okay, okay. Enough flirting! You guys can continue after you eat,” Jooheon butts in, annoyed that his presence was being ignored by the two elders, “You can’t flirt with an empty stomach.”

***

            The rest of the night went by pretty quickly. There wasn’t too much going on; since Changkyun is still a minor, the others decided not to drink too much to avoid getting too wasted. It was a pleasant night filled with laughter and stupid top-of-the-head games that are aimed to mess with the maknae. Hoseok wasn’t too eager on coming to Jooheon’s at first, but he’s glad that he did, for more than one reasons. Other than the stupidity that the boys came up with, Hoseok was glad that he got to meet Hyunwoo again.

They talked and talked and talked. They talked about anything and everything; about the book that he bought from Hoseok’s shop the other day, about food, about movies, about music, about animals, about clothes, about dancing – especially about dancing. Hyunwoo _loves_ dancing so much; just as much as Hoseok loves making music and performing them. Hyunwoo is a dance instructor at Jooheon’s dance studio and he teaches children how to dance.

            “I love how their faces light up when they get the steps right,” he said, lips curved upwards into the most genuine smile Hoseok has ever seen, “That’s the best part.”

            “The most gratifying thing about being a dance instructor is when you see your choreography – your own creation – being enjoyed by other people. You get to share the emotion that you’re feeling with others through movements, and I think it’s a very intimate experience,” Hyunwoo added, “I want to touch and to inspire people that way. That’s why I love dancing.”

            There’s a spark in Hyunwoo eyes when he talked about his passion for dancing, and Hoseok was just captivated. When he saw that, Hoseok believed again and he wanted to try harder on making the best music, not only for himself, but also for others. He wanted to have that same spark Hyunwoo had. He knew that he has found his inspiration: Hyunwoo.

            Without realizing, it’s already the time for everyone to go home. They are gathered in front of the apartment building before going on to their separate ways.

            “Jooheon-hyung, you should invite everyone over again next time! It was so fun!” Changkyun chimes happily despite the fact that he was bullied by the older males.

            “Sure if you agree on cleaning up the mess right after,” replies Jooheon smirking.

            “I had a great time tonight, but I have to go now,” says Hyunwoo.

            Hoseok gets a bit upset at that, and apparently Hyunwoo notices it. “Don’t look too sad. We’ll see each other again soon.”

            Hoseok looks down and nods quietly, trying to hide his disappointment that this night couldn’t last longer.

            Hyunwoo pulls Hoseok’s chin up and smiles at him. “Our paths will cross again, trust me on that,” he simply says to the younger male. He ruffles Hoseok hair and turns to the others to bid his goodbye.

            As Hyunwoo walks away, Hoseok yells at him, “Don’t change your perfume! The smell suits you well.”

            Hyunwoo gives a confused expression at first but shyly laughs at Hoseok’s words, and gives him a thumb’s up. Before long, Hyunwoo is already out of sight.

            “What was that about?” asks Kihyun sounding a bit weirded out by Hoseok’s earlier statement.

            “I’ve got an inspiration for a song,” says Hoseok still looking at the distance, ignoring Kihyun’s question, “I’ll show you once I’m done with it.”

            Kihyun looks at him in amusement. “That was fast…” he mumbles more to himself.


	5. At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after more than a month, i'm updating!! lol sorry for being MIA for too long yall.  
> anyway, happy new year!! i hope you guys will have a great year ahead of you and may good things come your way~  
> thank you so much for reading this train wreck of a story, and i hope you enjoy this update!  
> as usual, kudos and comments are highly appreciated!

            “You should invite him to the gig,” suggests Kihyun out of the blue as he scrolls through his phone.

            “Who?” asks Hoseok uninterested as he lazily flips through one of Hyungwon’s fashion magazines, occasionally letting out a quiet ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’.

            “Hyunwoo-hyung,” answeres Kihyun as-a-matter-of-factly, not even glancing away from his phone.

            Hoseok lowers the magazine that he’s reading and turns to look at Kihyun suspriciously. “What?” he asks again, demanding the younger one to repeat his words.

            “Invite Hyunwoo-hyung to our gig,” replies Kihyun, reaffirming his earlier statement. He sounds like inviting said person to their upcoming gig is the most obvious thing to do – it’s not. The both of them barely know Hyunwoo, and inviting him out of the blue to go to their gig will be weird – at least, that’s what Hoseok thinks.

            “Why should we invite him?” asks Hoseok as he scoffs at Kihyun’s words.

            “Correction–” Kihyun answers quickly, “I said _you_ should invite him, not _us_. I do not wish to be a part of this narrative.” He looks up from his phone just to smirk at the older male.

            Hoseok blinks and stares at the younger in confusion, still doesn’t quite get what the other is trying to tell him. “What does that supposed to mean?” he asks annoyed.

            “You are obviously – at the very least – into him,” replies Kihyun simply as he wiggles his eyebrows. “So, you should totally invite him.”

            The air gets caught in Hoseok’s windpipe and he chokes, surprised at what Kihyun just told him. “Wha—No! I am obviously not!” he yells denying Kihyun’s _absurd_ claim after finally catching his breath, “I definitely do not like him!”

            “You _definitely_ do!” Kihyun laughs, putting away his phone.

            “There is no evidence to support that bullshit!” insists Hoseok, his face is getting redder.

            Kihyun playfully hums and swiftly takes Hoseok’snotepad that is lying on the table and flips through the pages. He stops at one page and begins reading out loud, “‘ _You smell like warmth, so familiar. You feel like home_ ’. And – oh, this is a good one – ‘ _At last, I see the light at the end of my tunnel. It’s you, it’s always been you_ ’.” Kihyun pauses and scans through the page, but is distracted by the already blushing Hoseok.

            “Okay! I get your point!” Hoseok whines defeated, “So stop! Please!” Hoseok fidgets in his seat; his face is a bright shade of red. “How did you know?”

            Kihyun shrugs, “The both of you were awfully _friendly_ at the party. I mean, you guys were practically glued to each other. And – well – when you were with him, I sort of saw something that was usually not there…I guess.”

            Kihyun’s answer strikes a chord with Hoseok; _something that was usually not there?_ , he wonders. “What did you mean by that?” he finally asks after a while of hesitation.

            “Well…you just seemed…brighter than usual, I guess.” Kihyun pauses to reword his answer then continues, “It’s sort of like, by being with Hyunwoo-hyung really brought out the ‘light’ from within you. If that makes sense. I had never really seen that side of you before – never really knew you had it in you.”

            Hoseok chuckles, “Are you saying I wasn’t ‘bright’ before?”

            “Not really. I feel Hyunwoo-hyung amplified it,” adds Kihyun, “It’s always been there but it’s always been overshadowed by other things. And somehow he just _knew_ – like he’s known you for years.” Kihyun stops and thinks to himself for a while. “Oh my god, what if he’s _the one_ …?” he mutters more to himself.

            Hoseok throws a cushion at Kihyun’s direction in which the younger male manages to deflect. “Yeah right. Whatever.”

            Kihyun only laughs. “Bus seriously though. Invite him,” the younger suggests again, “Who knows, he might actually like the song you wrote _about him_.”

            Right after Kihyun finishes his sentence, Hoseok throws another cushion at him that hits him directly in the face. “Asshole,” is the only word that an embarrassed Hoseok manages to utter, and also a word that proves that Hoseok is indeed – at the very least, just like Kihyun said – into Hyunwoo.

***

            And it seems like Kihyun knew it all along and had planned this whole conversation in advance. He didn’t even leave room for Hoseok to give any kind of excuse to refuse. Somehow, Kihyun managed to get Hyunwoo’s number (from Jooheon who also suspected that Hoseok had a thing for Hyunwoo) for Hoseok, so Hoseok didn’t have the excuse to not contact him. Such a calculating, meticulous young man.

            Hoseok has been trying to type the _perfect_ message to send to Hyunwoo; he’s in the endless cycle of typing and deleting the message. He doesn’t want to sound too desperate, but not too indifferent at the same time. He really does want Hyunwoo to come to the weekend gig, but he doesn’t want to come on too strong.

            This whole thing is mentally and emotionally draining, so Hoseok decides to give himself a break to collect his thoughts. He puts away his phone and rests his eyes.

            Ever since that fortunate night he spent talking with Hyunwoo, Hoseok has started to experience emotions that he’s never felt before. His heart feels lighter than usual; he smiles more than before; he puts extra effort in everything that he does; this is probably what Kihyun meant by being ‘brighter’.

            Not to mention the feeling of familiarity when he was around Hyunwoo; they talked and joked like they’d known each other for years – as easy as how Hoseok talks with his best friends. Somehow, what he feels towards Hyunwoo now is similar to how he’s been feeling in his dreams all this time. In fact, _everything_ about Hyunwoo is similar to that person he’s been seeing in his dreams. _Could this be…no way. What does he have to do with my dreams?_

            “Hoseok,” the dark haired male calls his name softly as he pulls away slightly.

            “Hm?” Hoseok hums in return as he brushes a few strands of hair off the other male’s forehead.

            “Hoseok, I love you…” he finally tells Hoseok, “so, so much.”

            Hoseok’s heart thumps against his chest when he hears those words. Hoseok has known for so long that he is indeed loved by this amazing person, but there’s something about this moment that makes it…different. It’s probably the position they are now; it’s probably the time that is displayed on the digital clock. Hoseok studies the man’s face and he finds his answers – it’s definitely the look in his eyes that makes this moment different than the others.

            Hoseok cups his lover’s face in his palms and pulls him closer, “I love you too –“

            “Hyunwoo…” Hoseok mutters to himself as he slowly opens his eyes; he had fallen asleep while resting. The man that has been in all of Hoseok’s dreams is, indeed, Hyunwoo. Hoseok lies on his back and stares emptily at the ceiling. His mind is still registering and trying to understand everything. _What does this even mean…?_

            Hoseok sits up and turns to look at his phone. He thinks to himself; trying to connect the string of occurrences that he’s had with Hyunwoo, and then everything just clicks. He laughs to himself, “Of course. Now that everything makes sense, I just can’t _not_ invite him to the gig.”

            Hoseok picks up his phone and types the message.

 **shin.hoseok93:** Hey Hyunwoo, it’s Hoseok here. I got your contacts from Jooheon, I hope that doesn’t sound too creepy lol. Just wondering if you’re free this weekend?

After he typed the message, he hits send and waits hopefully for the other person to reply him. Lucky for him, he doesn’t have to wait too long. He gets a reply from Hyunwoo right after that.

 **son_hyunwoo92:** Hey! I was just about to ask Jooheon for your contacts lol this must be fate. Hmm…I guess I can make it free. What’s up?

 **shin.hoseok93:** Lol you think so? XD Well, me and Kihyun are going to have a gig and I’d love it if you come and watch us lol.

 **son_hyunwoo92:** Oh, cool! I would love to! I’ve always wanted to see you perform ever since you told me you’re a musician XD

 **shin.hoseok93:** Awesome! I’ll send you the details later then

 **son_hyunwoo92:** Alright! Looking forward to it!

            Hoseok smiles to himself reading the messages. Hoseok is looking forward to it too; he has a lot of things that he wants to convey to Hyunwoo, and he hopes Hyunwoo will accept them.

            He stretches his body and stands up. He walks to the window of his bedroom and opens the curtain. It has gotten dark and skyline has already been decorated by the twinkling lights of the buildings in the distant. For some reason, the view in front of Hoseok is prettier than it usually is tonight. The only thing that slightly disappoints Hoseok is the fact that the apartment that Hoseok and Hyungwon live in doesn’t have any balcony, so he can’t stand outside to feel the cool breeze of the night air brushes his skin. “I’m going to save up for an apartment with a balcony,” he muses.


	6. Please, Hear Me Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO WOW IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I POSTED ANYTHING, HASNT IT??????
> 
> i'm so so sorry that this took FOREVER to update lol life happens man....
> 
> but anyway, here you go i hope yall will like this update. i'll probably will post more often these days BUT!!!!!! i'm shit at committing to things lol
> 
> kudos and comments are highly appreciated!!

     On second thought, inviting Hyunwoo to watch their gig may not be the best of idea. It’s not the best idea for _Hoseok_ , mostly, but it’s still going to affect both of Hoseok and Kihyun’s performance too…or maybe this is just Hoseok making up excuses for himself again.

     For what feels like the longest 30 minutes in his life, Hoseok has been doing nothing but tuning _and_ retuning his guitar; he just can’t seem to get it right somehow — the guitar that he is so familiar with sounds so foreign to him right now. He never felt this anxious about performing before; he just cant get a hold on his usual confidence. _Is this really worth the trouble? All because of one guy? What if I screw up and ruin everything? Wait…what am I so afraid of? What am I even expecting out of this?_ Hoseok sighs then leans his head against the wall behind him.

     The recurring dreams has stopped; Hoseok has stopped getting the dreams every since it was revealed that Hyunwoo was the man in all of them. He has to admit that it feels weird that he doesn’t get the dreams anymore, although he can’t say that he’s not relieved — relieved that he, in a way, has finally found closure. When they said life works in mysterious ways, they weren’t joking. The moment Hoseok woke up from the last of his recurring dreams, he started to believe that they were all intentional — that he was somehow met with Hyunwoo ‘by chance’ as his recurring dreams progressed. Perhaps, Hyunwoo is meant to be in Hoseok’s life, although he is still unsure what role Hyunwoo will play in it. Well, Hyunwoo did come unexpectedly to his life during one of Hoseok’s lowest times. That’s saying something…right?

     Hoseok’s train of thoughts is suddenly interrupted by a gentle pat on his shoulder. He looks up to see Kihyun standing next to him. “How are you holding up, hyung?” he asks, sounding genuinely concern. Kihyun then sits down next to the older male.

     Hoseok only shrugs. “The show must go on, right?”

     “Yeah…” replies Kihyun. “The other guys are already here. They’re sitting out in front. Not to pressure you or anything, but Hyunwoo-hyung is there too.”

     Hoseok chuckles acknowledging Kihyun’s statement, then there’s silence between the two men.

     “I’m scared,” says Hoseok after a while. “I’m not usually like this, but I’m scared.”

     “There’s nothing to be scared of, hyung. We’ve done this many times before,” says Kihyun reassuringly.

     “This time is different, Hyunnie,” Hoseok sighs deeply as he closes his eyes.

     “Because Hyunwoo-hyung is here?”

     Hoseok slowly nods. “I don’t know how I’m gonna face him after this.”

     “Um, normally?” retorts Kihyun as he chuckles.

     “That’s not very comforting to hear, asshole.” Hoseok pushes the younger lightly in his seat.

     “No, but for real, though. Hear me out,” continues Kihyun after he balanced himself in his seat. “You literally have nothing to lose here. At this point in time, he’s just a mere acquaintance of yours that still holds no significant value to your life. Let’s say, if he doesn’t appreciate that you’ve turned him into your muse then so be it. He can leave and you don’t deserve him in the first place. You worked so hard on this song, and you poured your emotions and soul into it that’s why you need to let it be heard, by him especially. If it makes you feel a little bit better, I personally think this song is your best work to date.”

     Hoseok watches Kihyun intently for a long moment; he lets the things that Kihyun told him sink in. Whatever Kihyun said is true, and honestly it is way too late for him to back out of this. _I have nothing to lose is exactly right_.

     Hoseok smiles at the younger. “Thanks for the pep talk. I needed that for sure. I didn’t know you could be so wise, Hyunnie.”

     Kihyun only rolls his eyes in response. “Whatever. Let’s go. It’ll be our turn to perform soon.”

     The both of them get up and walk to side of the stage, then they wait for their name to be called. And as soon as the MC call them up to the stage, they sit on the stools that were already prepared for them. Hoseok looks out to the audience and spots the familiar faces of his friends in the middle of the room, and there he sees Hyunwoo smiling warmly at him. He mouths a ‘good luck’ then gives a thumb up.

     Hoseok looks back to Kihyun who is already settled in his spot, signalling the older to start their performance. Hoseok then proceeds to speak through the microphone.

     “Hi, good evening. As the MC already told you, we are simply called Kihyun and Hoseok. We don’t really have the minds to come up with interesting sounding name so we have to settle with this very generic name.” The audience laughs at Hoseok’s introduction. He shifts his gaze to Hyunwoo who is laughing along with the others. Hoseok heart swells at the sight as it gives him an overwhelming feeling of warmth. The remaining self doubts he carried with him melts away instantly. _Nothing to lose, Hoseok._

     “Let’s cut to the chase. This first song we’re about to play is fairly new and it is based on a real-life encounter I had with someone very special. We’ve only known each other for a brief period of time, but it left a huge impact on my life — it changed how I perceive life. Through this song, I wanted to convey how I feel about that person. I’m not sure what they’ll think about this song but…” Hoseok trails off and pauses for a moment as he locks eyes with Hyunwoo who is watching him intently, as if he knows that the song is about him. Hoseok takes a deep breath and continues, “Please, hear me out.”


End file.
